“There is a space between stimulus and our response. That space is our ability to choose our response. In that space lays our strength, growth and happiness.” Stephen Covey

The late Dr. Covey’s words are profound in the inclusiveness of the statement. We all have the freedom to choose, the “space between stimulus and response”, even if we don’t like our options. Some of us are born with many gifts and support, making our lives much easier to navigate. When a stimulus happens, the space we have may be quite large, allowing us to make a generous choice in our response, perhaps not reacting to something unpleasant or being extra-giving when needed. For example, if someone says something unkind, we have the choice of being unkind back, ignoring it, or saying something pleasant or innocuous in reply. In the case of a person who doesn’t have the tools of maturity and perspective, the response might be a negative retort back, or worse.

The bottom line is that it all boils down to choice and everyone has the ability to choose, the freedom to chart our own course in life. The children of disadvantaged families often do not see the space that they have or it is very narrow. They may also have been raised with examples which are very contrary to what society would recommend or approve of. This is not their fault. Alas, it is my belief that deep down they know that doing something bad, harmful or illegal is in fact wrong. They may choose to do it in order to “belong” to their family or neighborhood, particularly if they are part of a gang which might impose still penalties for not following along. There is, nonetheless, a choice.

I recently had the opportunity to meet with a group of young men who are incarcerated in a juvenile detention center and I left with the confirmation that these men do know between right and wrong, that they have the intelligence to make good choices for themselves, and that with society’s help, they can develop the emotional maturity necessary to do the “right thing” when the situation arises.

Life is not always a bowl of cherries and occasionally we are in the pits. But even then, when we are at our lowest, we still have the freedom of choice and that, my friends, is power!