Love

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I have been reading The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran, a book given to me over a decade ago by a lover, and I have kept it since then, maybe glancing at it a few times, never really giving it a proper reading. It managed to make it to my bedside table as a “must read” item, in a stack with other “must reads” as well. And then recently, when my mind was troubled and I was I need of a prayer to help with meditation and calm me before my slumber, I grabbed the book and began reading.

The Prophet is arranged in sections according to the life event which is described. It is not a book to just be read, but one that is to be slowly enjoyed, reflected upon, and not read cover to cover in one or two sittings. The soul reaches out to the book when and where needed, and the reader should savor one or two sections and let the poetic words of Gibran soak into their souls.

Naturally, I jumped to certain sections, one of which is love. Surprisingly to me, the advice is not exactly what I expected; he stresses a state of independence more prevalent than I’m used to. Gibran says that two people should be two people interacting together and enjoying love without combining their souls and lives entirely. It is almost as if love is one aspect of life to be enjoyed and that our independence is of equal if not paramount importance. As with any literature, the words are the opinions of the author and it is up to the reader to take the wheat and burn the chafe, leaving the wisdom that is right for them.

My take-away from Gibran’s wisdom is that we must be solid on our own feet, secure with ourselves and who we are, before engaging another individual in a life journey involving love. One plus one equals two, a healthy relationship does not “complete” individuals, but compliments them. While I think this is easy enough to intellectualize, in practice, it is not always so easy since emotions don’t follow rules. Nonetheless, it is a good thing to know in theory and utilize when the waters of a relationship are calm. Habits are easier to follow in difficult moments when they are in fact, habit!

Most importantly, I think that we must remember that love is a bit of a mystery and the ways of the heart are not always understood or known.

Body Image

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I was recently at the gym and running on the treadmill, one of my favorite activities! Not that running in place is such a turn-on, but I love the fact that I sweat a lot and can watch all of the people around me including the occasional TV channel.  At any rate, I was watching a news station that reported that over 1/3 of Americans are overweight! And worse, almost 30 million Americans have weight-related diabetes!

I am stunned by this and saddened at the same time. It is truly without judgment that I feel for people who are doing injury to themselves physically, emotionally, financially, and most likely spiritually. Naturally, my first question is to ask “why?”

I intuitively know that the myriad of answers are too numerous to address and are no doubt very personal to most. In a moment of clarity, I realized that I too suffer from body image issues and one of the very reasons I’m running to my hearts limits on a treadmill is to counter the emotional effects of my body dysmorphia. Is it possible that everyone suffers from some aspect of insecurity or poor self-esteem which manifests in one destructive habit or another? Considering the number of people who are on antidepressants and antianxiety medications, I would safely surmise that many people old and young are not coping with their issues.

So, as Americans eat themselves into disease (which is the bodies way of reacting to our dis-ease with ourselves and our lives), doing so while wasting almost half of the food that we produce and buy, it is truly time to put on the brakes of consumption and ask ourselves “why are we not content, why are we not happy?”.  If you are able to say emphatically “I love myself and my life”, I applaud you! And if not, if you are one of the many who over-satiate or over-medicate or if you are just like me, not satisfied with what I have been given already, then it is truly time to stop and reflect. You are not alone; I am one of many who are right alongside looking for a deeper meaning and grasping for self-love and compassion. You can do it, WE can do it!

Fear

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I think that the universe works in a very obvious way, one that is not as “mysterious” as the oft used quote suggests. Last night I watched a video presentation from TED on the subject of fear, and then today in church the sermon was on fear again. Is this just coincidence?  I truly believe that when subjects resonate with our souls, we attract more of the same ideas at the same frequency.

The TED presentation essentially said that fear is really our imagination on overdrive, exploring all of the worst-case scenarios of any situation, sometimes overriding our practical intuition and assessments of a situation, to our detriment. Fear is the equivalent of story-telling, and depending upon who we are, we can create anxiety and anticipation that is infinitely greater than reality and create dis-ease for ourselves—unnecessarily.

And with today’s sermon, fear was the catalyst for Kind Herod and his many decisions, including the killing of his wife and children and the deliverance of Jesus to the crowd for his execution. In this instance, it is fear that gets in the way of our compassion and our ability to see and understand God. It is necessary to step back and acknowledge the unknown, often the unseen, and to let these things into our lives unconditionally. This goes for people who are different than us, events that unfold differently than we plan, or just about anything that might give us cause to be judgmental.

So, it is with these two examples that I suggest that many of us operate out of fear, fear from the possibility of rejection, scarcity, jealousy, death, and frankly, of living fully and unfettered.  We create fantastic stories and possibilities of “what if’s” instead of just being present and being happy. The famous Indian spiritual teacher Shri Shri Ravi Shankar rightfully says: “A poor person celebrates the New Year once a year. A rich person celebrates each day. But the richest person celebrates every moment!” 

Don’t live in fear, celebrate every moment and be present!

Happy New Year—now slow down!

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Happy New Year!

This is one of my favorite times of year since everyone seems to be a bit weary from all of the festivities and equally sobered by the prospects of a new year and new expectations. I like it because the pace is not so frenetic, people are moving more slowly, after having been rushing to accomplish everything that they did over the last month including shopping, traveling, working, planning, you name it. Heck, people are just plain worn out!

It is with this in mind that I have been enjoying reading numerous sources that have extolled the virtues of not keeping in touch, of not reaching for our phones, of not being connected with everything and everyone at every possible moment. Do you really need to check-in at the gym and let your friends know you are there? Does reading or responding to that Twitter feed really make you happier? Or do you feel accomplished in your life because you squeezed in one more task on your to-do list including Zumba, returning unwanted Christmas gifts, or buying unneeded sale items?

Each of us has all of tools that we need with our eyes open to appreciate people and things around us, ears open to appreciate the pleasant sounds of living including children playing and birds chirping, and legs to go walking and just “be” for a bit, not going anywhere in particular. More importantly, we also have arms to hold a door open for someone else, to stop and let someone pass in front of us, and to say please and thank you and to acknowledge that we share our space with those around us. Pull out your earphones and wake up to the people around you!

Easter

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Easter is a very special time of year for me. I look forward to the week before and really, the Lenten season. It’s a nice time to slow down and reflect on my life.

This is less about the church and the story we have all heard, and more about the real people around me. 

I’m taking time to think a lot and starting with Easter week, I go to my gorgeous church in Beverly Hills every day until the Great Easter Vigil on Saturday evening, a candlelight service until the lights, flowers and choirs explode! Church also affords me an opportunity to do something with my mother that we can both enjoy and benefit from.

It’s a time to look within and understand how we relate to those without, and with more!